Archive for September, 2009

We really should, more often, all of us.

In what is sadly an ever darker and darker world, as a friend of mine once said, ‘we need to light more candles’.  But, it also pays to remember what we have to be thankful for.

Just over ten years ago, a friend and colleague died very suddenly on the eve of his fiftieth birthday. He was fit, active and healthy.  He died of heart failure, and we could not have been more shocked.  He left behind a wife and a 17 year old daughter.  I cried for weeks, and just could not accept how someone so vital could be there one minute and gone the next.  However, at his funeral when listening to all the eulogies, the one thing that impressed me the most, was how much this man had managed to accomplish in his life.  He had written countless papers, travelled, climbed mountains, played the trumpet, ran marathons etc.  He had not wasted a moment, and in truth, really had  ‘lived for the day’.  It was a wake up call, and I made a promise to myself that I would no longer indulge in useless and pathetic wallowing and self pity, and get on with the business of living.  If at times I felt myself slip, I would remind myself of Fred.

Today, this morning, I had another of those moments of epiphany when I read a piece of prose written by a friend, a fairly young friend, in his mid twenties in fact.  The piece was detailing the news that he had only months left to live and how he and his partner are dealing with this terrible event. Now, this wasn’t a shock or a surprise as my friend has been battling illness for a long time, he has AIDS.  A few months ago he survived an epic seizure and a coma.  When he regained consciousness and began to retrieve his memory, he was still positive and determined, and voiced not one note of complaint, utterly believing that no matter what, he would go on and achieve great things, that he had a purpose in life.  Sadly, it will not be…

I cried when I read it.  Cried with pity, loss and anger.  It was poignant, touching, brave and wonderful.  It also woke me up.  Again, this was a person who had no regrets, and despite his illnesses, has striven to make the most of his life.  Not angry, or bitter, or railing against his lot.  But determined, positive and striving to be  ‘more than the sum of his parts’.  It made me feel very humble and ashamed.  Ashamed at my complaints about getting older, being middle aged, not being pretty or thin, not having time to do this or that. It reminded me that every day we live is a gift and a blessing that should not be wasted.

It is a dark and grim world, and one in which terrible deeds and horrors are visited upon the weak and the vulnerable. But, one mustn’t live in the dark, but try and remember that the evil we live with is counter balanced by the good.  It is hard to remember this, particularly when faced with the onslaught of media sensationalism that would have us hiding behind closed doors and never leave our homes for fear of murderers, rapists, muggers, brigands, warmongers, and the perpetrators of evil that lurk in every shadow!

It’s not that bad.

We need to look up at the sky, the stars, look out at the ocean, gaze at the trees, witness and appreciate the beauty around us.  Cherish those we love, try and protect and help those who cannot help themselves.  Be better than we are, try harder, live life, fulfil our potential, and more more more…

So, today is a marking point for me. I cannot change the world, but I can change and affect the small things around me, and my own world.  It’s a drop in a bucket I know, but lots of drops make up a sea of change.

Last Sunday myself, Luke and Orla went to Goodwood Revival 2009 at Goodwood..naturally. Now, we don’t normally do the Revival because having been once before (we are locals), we didn’t really enjoy it as much as the Festival of Speed, reasons why will be explained later.

We were meeting our friends Nick and Rachel, to which I looked forward as I had not seen them since Orla’s Christening, and we had not been able to make their wedding two years ago, due to Orla being in hospital. Nick’s Uncle was there as an exhibitor and had given Nick free tickets for us.

We got there quite late in the morning, standard procedure for us, but at least I remembered to take my camera. Good.

We parked and made our way through the ‘pre 66′  field filled with the most amazing classic English and American cars.   I took a couple of pics, though decided to wait. We met Nick and Rachel, got our tickets and made our way into the event. The first thing that met our eyes was the steam Carousel. This was the third event this year at which this Carousel has been present, and to Orla’s joy, not only that..but a Helter Skelter. Naturally Orla was keen.  She did get to have a go later on with her Daddy, and it was a first for both of them.

As I expected fab vintage and retro costumes abounded, gorgeous cars and bikes, happy people and the sounds of powerful engines . I loved it, only marred by…the wealthy people.

Luke later tells me,  a Hooray Henry in plus fours with his two kids was walking along and saw this huge guy, big muscles sporting a vest (because it was hot) with his mates pushing his littelun along in a stroller. Hooray Henry starts shouting at his kids (Hoorays are generally quite loud)  “Look at the big muscle man…look at his huge muscles..children, look at the huge muscle man” over and over again. Now, apparently muscles man was Eastern European and him and his mates just stared, and Luke is thinking…’any moment he is going to eat you Hooray in front of your kids’. This was a theme all day.  Alas,  we prefer Festival of Speed, as it is less snobby, elitist and cliquey.  In as much as I deplore the rudeness, crudeness and unacceptable ignorance of the ‘Chav’ class, I have as much contempt for the ‘Upper’ classes and aristocracy.  I was witness many times that day to rudeness, ignorance, crassness and embarrassing ignorance on the part of the wealthy and elite. It does in fact make me at times ashamed to be English, as there there is no truer tosser than a wealthy English man abroad..or even at home.

Additionally, women in expensive though  poorly chosen and rather tasteless clothes abounded.  It is a sad fact, that just because you can afford ‘couture’, doesn’t mean you can ‘wear’ couture. I commented to Rachel on how many women I had seen that day with coffee brown faces. The truth is, a Mediterranean ‘tan’ really does not suit an English woman’s physiognomy.  But will they listen..no!

However, I don’t want it to appear as though I didn’t enjoy my day. I had a wonderful time, and loved all the gorgeous cars, clothes and the spirit of the event was palpable. Nick and Rachel are lovely, kind people to which my Orla warmed to, and Rachel is now a firm favourite. I was only sad I didn’t get to see as much of the racing as I would have liked, and missed Rowan Atkinson twice to my chagrin.   I took many, many pictures which I have uploaded to my Flickr account, and will no doubt be doing so for weeks. So, I wont write any more about the event, as the pictures I took speak for themselves. Anyone reading this who goes to look at the images on my Flickr album, I recommend you view them as a slide show, the link to which is at the top on the right…

However, here are one or two to wet your appetite.

So, on this rather portentous day…where am I at?

Well, sort of glum to tell the truth. Firstly, the long awaited event, namely my little girl starting school came and went, and four days in she has picked up a virus, is running one of her typical high temperatures and has diarrhea. Sadly, has had to have a day off school already, and will likely be at home tomorrow, even Friday. An ignominious start to her school career, but unsurprising.

She had Pneumonia (Bacterial Pneumococcas) two years ago, and had to be revived from a serious febrile convulsion in A&E. Since then, when infected she is prone to terrible fevers which can see her temperature go over 40c easily. We have had many trips to A&E in ambulances over the last three years.  It comes to this, that our lives and happiness are totally dependant on the well being of this little person. When she is well and happy, so are we. When she is ill, we live in a twighlight world of medication and anxiety. I hope she picks up quicker than the last bout of illness (two weeks), as she is also due to start Ballet school on Saturday, to miss her first lesson really would be a terrible shame.

Other than that, artistically I am suffering from a slight attack of artistic self doubt. The whys and wherefores are irrelevant. My print sales are down, and my recent flurry of success seemingly a thing of the past. I know it will pick up again, but it’s somewhat demoralising. One thing that didn’t help, was a recent conversation with a lecturer in Fine Art I know (a very nice man, make no mistake) about the possibility of doing an MA in Art. The bottom line is, I may struggle to get in having not completed my degree, despite having spent FIVE years at art college. It’s a question of artistic ‘maturity’ and ‘focus’. I will have to present a portfolio (as one would regardless) and hope that is passes muster and that I am accepted on the basis of that.  My conversation left me feeling flat and demotivated, I don’t really know why.  He said nothing wrong, or even critical, it just reminded me of some of the issues I have always had with the ‘art industry’.  I could go into a long disquisition about the art world, it’s inherent snobbery, elitism, and bullshit intellectualism..but I wont. I shall save that for another day.

So, other than that, nothing momentous has happened for me today, perhaps I should have bought a lottery ticket?!

However, I am reminded that two days from now is the anniversary of an event that changed the world dramatically for ever.

My little girl started school today. For weeks and weeks, nay months I have looked forward to and dreaded this day. Excited for her, and all the wonderful things she is going to do, the new things she will learn, and the  friends she will make. But, for me…some sadness. She has been my constant companion for four and a half years. Other than the last year and a half at Nursery for two hours of a morning, I have never been without her.  In fact, I don’t know a world without her.

She looked unutterably adorable in her uniform, and was so proud to wear it.  She puffed out her little chest and skipped along the pavement. We led her into her classroom and hung her coat on her peg. She marched straight over to a table and sat down and started drawing. We hovered anxiously, she smiled at both me and Luke, gave us kisses and said goodbye. We stood outside the classroom for a while watching her. She continued to draw, chatting away to the other little girls at her table and never looked round once.  Eventually we dragged ourselves away and walked home.

At lunch we walked back to school to pick her up, she looked a little less tidy when she came out, and very grumpy, apparently very cross that she was not going to eat her lunch there, as she is part time until January. She insisted I piggy back her home, which I did, all the way..and I received oodles of cuddles on the sofa. Orla said that she liked her day, her school..but couldn’t tell us what she did there as it was ‘a secret’. She wants to go back tomorrow.

So…

Last night I watched Guy Ritchie’s ‘Rock n Rolla‘ for the second time, having watched it the night before. It needed a second viewing because as with his others films, it is fast pased and tricky.  Did I like it as much the second time? I did indeed. Did I like it as much as Lockstock and Snatch. Again, I did indeed.

It had Ritchies’ usual pace, dynamism and humour nicely balanced with the inherent violence and  darkness of the genre, plus his trademark slick editing. I enjoyed and empathised with the characters I was supposed to, and disliked the characters I was supposed to (glad Stella got ‘hers’, and LOVED Handsome Bob). There were also some real ‘laugh out loud’ moments, e.g. the ‘dance scene’ between One Two and Handsome Bob.

Upon my usual internet search to see if there is indeed a sequel to this film, ergo ‘The Real Rock n Rolla’ as flagged at the end,  I discover that this film did not go down well with the critics.  Ritchie  was slated for producing anuuver East End gangsta film!!! Why? Does anyone slate Copolla for THREE Godfather films when one really was sufficient? I think that this film is an excellent addition to Lockstock and Snatch.

This is what Ritchie does best. The films are entertaining, well made, keenly observed and very watchable, and he provides a window to a world that fascinates us all. They are larger than life…yes, but having met some real East Eng gangsters in my youth, I would say pretty near the mark.  Ritchie’s East End gangster films are the best I have seen, the only other that I would say is as good by another Director is ‘Love, Honour and Obey’.  That really is all that is needed. So, should Mr Ritchie make the ‘Real Rock n Rolla 2′, I for one will be purchasing my cinema ticket to see it.

Main Characters:
One Two – Gerard Butler
Mumbles – Idris Elba
Handsome Bob – Tom Hardy
Johnny Quid – Toby Kebbell
Archie – Mark Strong
Lenny Cole – Tom Wilkinson
Stella – Thandie Newton
Roman – Jeremy Piven
Uri – Karel Roden
Victor – Dragan Micanovic
Mickey – Ludacris
The Councillor – Jimi Mistry
Cookie – Matt King

Memorable Quotes:
Johnny Quid:  ‘I’m dead Pete. Dead people don’t like company’.
Mumbles: ‘ If I could be half the human being Bob is at the cost of being a poof, I’d have to think about it. Not for very long, but I’d have to pause’.
Johnny Quid: ‘Go on, jog on, walk on, goodbye, bon voyage, fuck off’.
One Two: ‘We should’ve just gone and done the strippers like Handsome Bob would’ve done. You should just drown the cat instead of letting it out. No, no, not you. Not fag Bob’.
Johnny Quid:  ‘That, Roman and Mickey, is the famous ‘Archy slap’.
One Two: ‘You didn’t realize that they had guns? Big, long, dangerous machine guns…with war criminals attached to the trigger’.