So, on this rather portentous day…where am I at?

Well, sort of glum to tell the truth. Firstly, the long awaited event, namely my little girl starting school came and went, and four days in she has picked up a virus, is running one of her typical high temperatures and has diarrhea. Sadly, has had to have a day off school already, and will likely be at home tomorrow, even Friday. An ignominious start to her school career, but unsurprising.

She had Pneumonia (Bacterial Pneumococcas) two years ago, and had to be revived from a serious febrile convulsion in A&E. Since then, when infected she is prone to terrible fevers which can see her temperature go over 40c easily. We have had many trips to A&E in ambulances over the last three years.  It comes to this, that our lives and happiness are totally dependant on the well being of this little person. When she is well and happy, so are we. When she is ill, we live in a twighlight world of medication and anxiety. I hope she picks up quicker than the last bout of illness (two weeks), as she is also due to start Ballet school on Saturday, to miss her first lesson really would be a terrible shame.

Other than that, artistically I am suffering from a slight attack of artistic self doubt. The whys and wherefores are irrelevant. My print sales are down, and my recent flurry of success seemingly a thing of the past. I know it will pick up again, but it’s somewhat demoralising. One thing that didn’t help, was a recent conversation with a lecturer in Fine Art I know (a very nice man, make no mistake) about the possibility of doing an MA in Art. The bottom line is, I may struggle to get in having not completed my degree, despite having spent FIVE years at art college. It’s a question of artistic ‘maturity’ and ‘focus’. I will have to present a portfolio (as one would regardless) and hope that is passes muster and that I am accepted on the basis of that.  My conversation left me feeling flat and demotivated, I don’t really know why.  He said nothing wrong, or even critical, it just reminded me of some of the issues I have always had with the ‘art industry’.  I could go into a long disquisition about the art world, it’s inherent snobbery, elitism, and bullshit intellectualism..but I wont. I shall save that for another day.

So, other than that, nothing momentous has happened for me today, perhaps I should have bought a lottery ticket?!

However, I am reminded that two days from now is the anniversary of an event that changed the world dramatically for ever.