It’s not just trying to do the prompts, play with Orla, answer emails, work on new art, get to the post office etc.  I then have to photograph the journal entries, get them onto Flickr, blog about it etc. It’s not doable. First day I was working on my Day I entry at 11.30 p.m. Day II, I was working on it whilst Orla was playing and she kept asking me to play with her.  Today…just not doable and tomorrow we are out for the day. So…

I really looked forward to doing it, but I need to  look after my little girl and keep up with my commission work and paint. I will do the next one when term starts in September.

Aaahhh well.

Journal Prompt 2:  I am a huge fan of writing out my goals, short term and long term.  I thought it would be appropriate to have some journaling goals for ourselves too!!  What are your goals for your journaling?

Now, I was not able to make today’s entry as original or interesting as I would have liked, it was pretty much created sporadically and snatching spare moments whilst looking after Orla and Ella (her best friend), as it’s the school holidays. I feel that a lot of us Mum’s who are doing this may struggle a bit over the next 30 days, but I will do my best. I elected to post this here, and not on my art blog asI  felt it was less about my art, and more about me. I will probably post them here every day, and summarise on my art blog at the end of the week.

My five bullet points for my entry are as follows:

• Be spontaneous
• Less obsessive
• Do something different
• Challenge myself
• Be authentic and true to myself
• Most of all make it fun and enjoyable

The crux of the above is this; I am tightly wound both personally and in my work  and always have been. I have a tendency to OCD which I have to continually fight against (which means I can be overly perfectionist about my work and have been known to destroy as many as five or six (or many more)  working versions of a piece of art. I  liked the idea of a group project, and felt this would challenge me  to do something different, and given that the subject matter would be dictated by another person, would take me out of my comfort zone. Above all, that I remain true to myself, am authentic and resist the urge to compare and fret over it But last and not least…to enjoy the experience and not make it too onerous and something that becomes stressful or a chore.

Journal Prompt II

Oh, and if you are wondering about the melon. I asked Orla to choose from one of her many stickers books a sticker she felt would most suit the content of the page, and she chose this one.

Well, a few weeks ago I was handed a blue piece of cloth, and a letter explaining that we needed to make a collage hand for a community project in which all finished hands would be put together to make one big collage. We had to use the blue square with which they had supplied us, and we could then use anything else we wanted. Fabric, paper, glitter, all sorts.

Being  a creative person, I had lots of good ideas, but then like most things in my life, I left it to the last minute.  So, realising the deadline was upon me, I pinned down my protesting daughter, drew around her hand (so I could at least with a clear conscience claim she had been involved), used the cutout as a stencil and used some pink felt for the hand shape.  I Got some PVA from her craft box,  and the day before the deadline start gluing on my stars and sequins, having used spray mount to affix the hand.  That worked quite well. I left it for 24 hours, which I thought would be ample time for it to dry. It did indeed dry, however, when I lifted my square, all the stars and sequins started to fall off. I then re glued again with craft glue. Left it for two hours, went back..again everything fell off.

By this time I was getting desperate as I had only an hour to go before I had to hand it over, the deadline having all ready been and gone. Frantically I rushed upstairs to my studio and got my very expensive (only to be used for serious art work) pot of Golden Matte Gel Medium. I got some more glue, and carefully stuck my stars (beginning to look a little worse for wear) and sequins down and painted the gel medium over the the top, then somewhat haphazardly and over enthusiastically covered it in glitter, it actually worked a treat.

I left it pinned to the line to dry and carefully carried it to the school and handed it over with nary a backwards glance, relieved to be rid of it.

It was a stressful day all told and am so looking forward to my next school project.

Hand for school project

Hand for school project

Luke and Orla and PINK cake

Was a strange day indeed. Things didn’t go entirely to plan, but it was still nice.

This is what happened. I had not been well for a few weeks and had in fact recently recovered from Pharyngitus, which took place over Orla’s birthday. Luke managed to soldier on over her party period, and my inlaws came to help with her party, so all was good. I wont be posting pics of her party here as there are other peoples children in shot, and  I have strong views about that kind of thing.

Anyway, about two days before my birthday, I catch Laryngitus from Orla, am laid up in bed.  Then, the day before myactual  birthday, my laptop fries, and we lose everything on it, and I mean EVERTHING. All my email, accounts, passwords, web site designs and lay-outs, some artwork, years of bookmarks, accounts, tax info….the list is endless.  Did I cry, indeed I did. So, on my birthday my husband went out and spent money we don’t really have on a new laptop for me. A Toshiba L450-181. It’s a big beast with a wide screen monitor and does the job perfectly. Do I love him..well, just a bit.

Also, he and Orla made me a PINK birthday cake. Luke also bought me a new bag from Eella at OSix on DaWanda, some DVD’s, some Liz Earle cream and some choccies. So despite the distaster of my dying laptop, and being ill…it was a good birthday, and it was made so by my family.

New laptop

New bag from OSix

I chivvied Orla out of the park, via ELC (toy shop for the uninitiated). We make a dash for the car park.  I managed to squeeze us back into the car, despite that the huge Saab next to me had left me literally inches to spare (do these people NEVER notice a child’s seat in the car and think ‘oh, they may need some room?’).

Anyway, having sorted out the urchin I start to drive out of the car park. It’s hectic, car parks in Chichester always are.  I drive down a row in the car park and remembered at the last minute that the old exit/entrance is now blocked and so had to turn around, in very tight section. I begin to do so, backwards and forwards, cursing myself for my lapse in memory, and notice eventually I  am being stared at by a man and a woman to my right, in a large silver Jaguar. His face, florid, hers horsey, and the signature hounds tooth alice band. I stop, as it would seem they want to turn around.  The man to my astonishment jabs his finger at the space he was backing out of and shouted ‘SPACE’. I wound my window down and started to explain that I was actually trying to leave, when he just turned the car and roared off while I was talking.

I was enraged, and was ranting at how rude the man was, when Orla pipes up and says, ‘He didn’t like you because you had the wrong hat on”. ‘Oh’, says I, ‘Which hat should I have had on then sweety?’.  “The red one Mamma”. ‘Aaaaaaah, of course littleun, you are quite right’.  My mood was immediately diffused and I drove away laughing.

So, it would seem to gain the appropriate respect, one must have the right hat on. Naturally!

Well, sort of glum to tell the truth. Firstly, the long awaited event, namely my little girl starting school came and went, and four days in she has picked up a virus, is running one of her typical high temperatures and has diarrhea. Sadly, has had to have a day off school already, and will likely be at home tomorrow, even Friday. An ignominious start to her school career, but unsurprising.

She had Pneumonia (Bacterial Pneumococcas) two years ago, and had to be revived from a serious febrile convulsion in A&E. Since then, when infected she is prone to terrible fevers which can see her temperature go over 40c easily. We have had many trips to A&E in ambulances over the last three years.  It comes to this, that our lives and happiness are totally dependant on the well being of this little person. When she is well and happy, so are we. When she is ill, we live in a twighlight world of medication and anxiety. I hope she picks up quicker than the last bout of illness (two weeks), as she is also due to start Ballet school on Saturday, to miss her first lesson really would be a terrible shame.

Other than that, artistically I am suffering from a slight attack of artistic self doubt. The whys and wherefores are irrelevant. My print sales are down, and my recent flurry of success seemingly a thing of the past. I know it will pick up again, but it’s somewhat demoralising. One thing that didn’t help, was a recent conversation with a lecturer in Fine Art I know (a very nice man, make no mistake) about the possibility of doing an MA in Art. The bottom line is, I may struggle to get in having not completed my degree, despite having spent FIVE years at art college. It’s a question of artistic ‘maturity’ and ‘focus’. I will have to present a portfolio (as one would regardless) and hope that is passes muster and that I am accepted on the basis of that.  My conversation left me feeling flat and demotivated, I don’t really know why.  He said nothing wrong, or even critical, it just reminded me of some of the issues I have always had with the ‘art industry’.  I could go into a long disquisition about the art world, it’s inherent snobbery, elitism, and bullshit intellectualism..but I wont. I shall save that for another day.

So, other than that, nothing momentous has happened for me today, perhaps I should have bought a lottery ticket?!

However, I am reminded that two days from now is the anniversary of an event that changed the world dramatically for ever.

She looked unutterably adorable in her uniform, and was so proud to wear it.  She puffed out her little chest and skipped along the pavement. We led her into her classroom and hung her coat on her peg. She marched straight over to a table and sat down and started drawing. We hovered anxiously, she smiled at both me and Luke, gave us kisses and said goodbye. We stood outside the classroom for a while watching her. She continued to draw, chatting away to the other little girls at her table and never looked round once.  Eventually we dragged ourselves away and walked home.

At lunch we walked back to school to pick her up, she looked a little less tidy when she came out, and very grumpy, apparently very cross that she was not going to eat her lunch there, as she is part time until January. She insisted I piggy back her home, which I did, all the way..and I received oodles of cuddles on the sofa. Orla said that she liked her day, her school..but couldn’t tell us what she did there as it was ‘a secret’. She wants to go back tomorrow.

So…